Lonely Bee

Friday 28, October 2011

inate terrors curdle and crystallize

like a flimsy organ wincing through wind

wheezing on lumpy air, spewing out chunks

torturous missile engraving on my stomach

acid curls outwards like a ribbon and congealed in bows

Saturday 9, July

As though they are doused in fluorescent light from hope, affection and contentment. The colours in everything are bright in front of good lighting.

Is red a literary colour? I think it is. Primary in it's boldness, like a fervent equivalent of black, printer ink. Maybe I should get fake red hair again.

Wednesday, 29 June- The Blanket Weave

I have come to the realization that loneliness is nothing but an illusion. When asked "Who are you?", a typical response is that the "I" we think of, is a kind of secluded operator that controls our bodies from our mind which is completely separate. Our descriptions fall immensely short of who we are though. They contain nothing about our internal organs, the way we breathe, they say nothing about how life is impossible without our place in time and space or interacting with other people/things. We wouldn't think of a flower without a stalk connecting it to soil and without water to soak into the soil to make the flower grow. So why do we think of ourselves entirely removed from our surrounds? Philosopher Alan Watts, suggests that we are each like individual threads in the blanket of reality. If we pull, tighten, damage one thread then other threads clump around them or break away.  Reality is woven together in pattern.

That is perhaps the most well-phrased reasoning behind my current work with patterns. Interaction with the author of this blog http://www.thinkpast.com/ , and my interest in, the similarly candid poetry of Allen Ginsberg, makes me re-examine my usage of pattern. Rather than using them to criticize dogma I would now like to turn these works into a dark reflection of modern reality. So in doing this I have adopted the circle concept of a Tibetan, Buddhist mandala (which represents that inter-connectedness of reality. http://www.religionfacts.com/buddhism/things/mandalas.htm)

So I begun by drawing lots of patterns on grid paper, like in the last post. Now I have increased the complexity of design.

 

Finally, I would like to find a manner of printing or copying them in a way that I can retain the complex design and make tiles of them that are about 20x20cm. Then I can collage them all together, to make a poster-sized print of them all interlinking. I will then merge the patterns with photos or images representing other aspects of reality.

Monday, 27 June

So in regards to images I have been playing with at this point.

And now I need to start finding images to combine. So I can create representations of this time, where people and places dance, writhing in these patterns of human entanglement. (Though do ignore the colours. This is pure design and I just fill these things to make editing.)

Fleeting patterns. Residual joy.

I just recalled my password to this sight, hence not updating for a while. In the mean time, I have found some incredible moments of joy. I feel as though the last three or four days are a continuation of a dream. Like a prolonged moment of consciousness. Nothing feels particularly important but everything is so beautiful with a kind of ethereal glow. I feel like everything, including myself, is just woven through a kind of universe pattern that we can't see but we all know is there. Like perpetually changing threads of something that comprises reality, all we can see is the pattern of change. I think this is what happens when you fall into moments of joy with someone that are fleeting moments but reside in memories that dance like a ballerina on repeat video. https://picasaweb.google.com/102633729999897508670/PatternProjectionsShopped?feat=directlink#5506953507057394834 (I've been thinking)

I was going to work at lifeline today before I see Anneliese (to work on the book about Brisbane) but I think I need to draw something of these woven patterns on grid paper. I need to re-interpret life into patterns because they've changed :)  I'll post my drawings and our plans and any work we do on the book this afternoon. (particularly now that I know my password)

Portrait of Friend Arthur as Kraken. Interlaced with pattern